The notion of finding your Higher Power as an essential component of the 12 Step AA program is perhaps its most controversial aspect. What does it mean to apply the consummate abstraction of complex faith to the realm of fully practical, straightforward treatment? How does an alcoholic truly recognize a force larger than her or his self in order to build a rock-hard foundation for actual, profound, positive daily change?
It is almost a cliche in AA and many other related groups that one's urgent, necessary Higher Power need not be the traditional God of most organized global religions. Although many alcoholics define God in the standard sense of a benign, omnipotent deity, others choose to see their Higher Power in smaller, more humble terms- a single, ennobling feeling, a generalized spirit of inspiration, a metaphysical connection with an unknown known that can heal and regenerate. Some drunks give a name to their Higher Power, much like one might name a favored pet; others prefer the stuffy, trite formality of God, in a way that makes a person know who they are talking about without further explanation.
I prefer to call, and describe, my Higher Power thusly: Transcendental, Unconditional Love. This is the palpable feeling of overflowing emotional well-wishing that emanates from the small number of family and friends who have stuck by me, no matter what, through the darkest fevered hours of my past destructive drinking, in which bridges were often not burnt, as much as bombed. This is the profound ray of sentimental illumination that, in the times when the bottom had fallen out to its lowest point, I could count on to lift me up to somewhere, anywhere, better, in that exact moment when I needed such uplift the most.
A person's unique, specific Higher Power should be explained and shared widely, as an essential step on the path to lifelong recovery.
Transcendental, Unconditional Love is the stolid commitment made by a spouse/partner and child/ren to never give up on your own essential goodness, to acknowledge and proclaim that the seething fog of alcohol abuse is just that- a weak, shallow, manipulative mask in the way of confronting deeper-seated personal flaws and ingrained remembered tragedies.
Transcendental, Unconditional Love is the staunch pact made by parents and siblings to recognize that the intense emotional pain, and perhaps spiritual inadequacy, that causes your alcoholism is a challenge that you can best, over a long period of time and with relentless integrity.
Transcendental, Unconditional Love is the firm accord made by those friends, new and old, who see a current vision of you as a shattered glass whose sinister shards of old, bad feelings can be swept into the dustbin of a personal history best left behind.
Ultimately, the wisdom of having, and holding, a Higher Power is the notion that an overwhelming physical, emotional, moral, social, and spiritual disease cannot be cured through a normal, run of the mill faith in anything that is as shaky, as ephemeral, as some purely tangible, literal element. To overcome the often unbearable heaviness of a legacy of perpetual inebriation, we drunks must, at all costs, invest our path to healing with an essential quality of something we cannot touch with our fingers, but can feel with our hearts.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Why 13 Steps?
In the warmly welcoming world of Alcoholics Anonymous, the program to recovery is, famously, the 12 Steps. Such an ideal metaphor for the uphill struggle one must make from the contaminated soil of toxic intoxication to the higher ground of sobriety's marble pillared temple. It is a rationally sequenced, emotionally challenging roller coaster ride in which a person who needs to STOP drinking, ideally forever, can gain the strength and integrity to see sobriety through. These steps, I think, deal perfectly with the beginning stages of recovery- the lightning shock of sudden change, the recurring irritability induced by a drink's non-availability, the pinching agony of physical withdrawal and emotional stepping away, to the middle stages of confident acceptance and the creeping normalcy of sobriety, to the final stages of what is called a "spiritual awakening," in which a certifiably long-time sober person is empowered to help fellow drunks begin the process of giving up alcohol.
This is all well and good, and necessary. No solid data exists to prove this program works for even most drunks in the long run, but it is one of the only games in town, and that reason alone makes it worth supporting. Literally, AA's Steps are a global phenomenon. I have seen meetings all over the world- in ramshackle Mexican churches, post-modernist German meeting halls, thorn-ridden Honduran fields, colorful Irish classrooms. In some cases, these meetings are loudly proclaimed like a glittering billboard; in other instances, they are subtly announced through word of mouth. This program has the authoritative weight of time on its side, and is granted legitimacy, above all, by the sheer fact of the numbers of people participating. According to the AA website, in 2015, 2,089,698 people attended 117, 748 groups worldwide. In the United States alone, 1.3 million individuals attended AA meetings this past year.
As I said, the 12 Step program is an inclusive, effective springboard to a major life change. However, I believe that those of us in the recovery community, which of course includes loved ones and friends impacted by alcohol in a severe way, need a 13th Step to ensure that, beyond spreading the dozen stairs of sobriety to others in need of a foundation, one is truly ready to live the rest of her or his days without the devilish wink of an unplanned drink. To that end, I propose a 13th Step:
13. Through continued spiritual renewal and the loving support of a sobriety-friendly community, a person in recovery will continue to find new and creative ways to prevent her/his self from succumbing to the temptation to drink.
The bigger battle that we alcoholics fight, one which cannot be underestimated from moment to moment, is against the "little picture" drinking scenarios- those countless and, at times, unavoidable situations where alcoholic beverage consumption is obvious and widespread, apparently acceptable and probably encouraged. In these times, our choice comes down to- should I even participate in this event? What great moments will I be missing out on if I don't? We cannot, and should not, preach to loved ones and friends about the hydra's head of boozy evil if those people are genuinely social drinkers (as the majority of women and men who drink alcohol are). But there are times when we need their support in a more meaningful way, short of the drastic expectation that they simply not drink, which is unrealistic and unfair.
The 13th Step must be a reminder that, down the hopeful road of the rest of a sober drinker's life, it is okay to maintain fresh thinking about how to steer clear of a liquid elixir that, if consumed again, will put us right back on to the road of ruinous decay.
This is all well and good, and necessary. No solid data exists to prove this program works for even most drunks in the long run, but it is one of the only games in town, and that reason alone makes it worth supporting. Literally, AA's Steps are a global phenomenon. I have seen meetings all over the world- in ramshackle Mexican churches, post-modernist German meeting halls, thorn-ridden Honduran fields, colorful Irish classrooms. In some cases, these meetings are loudly proclaimed like a glittering billboard; in other instances, they are subtly announced through word of mouth. This program has the authoritative weight of time on its side, and is granted legitimacy, above all, by the sheer fact of the numbers of people participating. According to the AA website, in 2015, 2,089,698 people attended 117, 748 groups worldwide. In the United States alone, 1.3 million individuals attended AA meetings this past year.
As I said, the 12 Step program is an inclusive, effective springboard to a major life change. However, I believe that those of us in the recovery community, which of course includes loved ones and friends impacted by alcohol in a severe way, need a 13th Step to ensure that, beyond spreading the dozen stairs of sobriety to others in need of a foundation, one is truly ready to live the rest of her or his days without the devilish wink of an unplanned drink. To that end, I propose a 13th Step:
13. Through continued spiritual renewal and the loving support of a sobriety-friendly community, a person in recovery will continue to find new and creative ways to prevent her/his self from succumbing to the temptation to drink.
The bigger battle that we alcoholics fight, one which cannot be underestimated from moment to moment, is against the "little picture" drinking scenarios- those countless and, at times, unavoidable situations where alcoholic beverage consumption is obvious and widespread, apparently acceptable and probably encouraged. In these times, our choice comes down to- should I even participate in this event? What great moments will I be missing out on if I don't? We cannot, and should not, preach to loved ones and friends about the hydra's head of boozy evil if those people are genuinely social drinkers (as the majority of women and men who drink alcohol are). But there are times when we need their support in a more meaningful way, short of the drastic expectation that they simply not drink, which is unrealistic and unfair.
The 13th Step must be a reminder that, down the hopeful road of the rest of a sober drinker's life, it is okay to maintain fresh thinking about how to steer clear of a liquid elixir that, if consumed again, will put us right back on to the road of ruinous decay.
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